#guess who Has A Cyst!

[ghosttotheparty]

.

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me

[literary-potato]

Shout out to my body for waiting until literally the day my health insurance expired (over a long weekend, so the COBRA paperwork & payment doesn’t seem to have gone through yet) to really start acting up. Very cool move. Definitely not interfering with my ability to prep for or do technical interviews so that I can get a job so that I can afford to get medical care.

[darksouls2yuri]

btw my mom also has awful rosacea and dry skin and yet she puts on makeup for everything and shes like. its just bare minerals lol its good for your skin. rachel your pores are so fucking clogged and you have painful painful breakouts daily. please stop doing this to yourself you will feel better.

[videovamptramp]

the jealous game

// prompt idea for g!p wanda: you end your relationship with wanda because she’s always flirting with other girls to make you jealous. unbeknownst to you, wanda’s about to feel just as jealous as you when thor and bruce bring their new friend valkyrie to one of tony’s parties. the king suddenly takes a massive interest in you, making wanda immensely jealous. //

warnings: breakups, flirting with other girls while in a relationship, jealousy, sexual themes i guess (kind of??), fluffy ending, i’m a slut for wanda maximoff ��

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

“i can’t do this anymore, wanda!” you raise your voice as she drags you into the hall. you were forced to sit at a dinner party with a few agents, and watch wanda flirt with sharon carter all night. you stressed more and more during every function and event, because the redheads flirting was never ending. no matter how many times you told her to stop— how much it hurts you— she never listens. “you’re making a big deal over nothing, y/n.” she rolls her eyes, and you clench your fists, angry tears welling up in your eyes. “nothing?! wanda, you’ve been flirting with sharon in front of me all night!” you exclaim, and she scoffs.

“flirting doesn’t mean anything.” she mutters and you stare at her as if she’s crazy. “it means something to me, and it probably means something to her and all the other women you consistently flirt with.” you mutter, and she opens her mouth to say something, but you beat her to it. “you know, you used to be my best friend. after my best friend passed away, i never thought i could develop a bond and connection like i did with you. then i fell in love with you, and i realized you aren’t who i thought you were.” your voice cracks a bit and wanda’s smug demeanor falls immediately at the vulnerable words. “y/n—”

“have fun at your dinner party. i’ll be by your room next week to pick up my things.” you don’t even let her speak. you don’t want to hear what she has to say. you walk away from her, and you leave her standing in the hallway watching you leave. the memory now engraved into her mind. the night you got tired of her trying to rile you up, and keep the relationship ‘alive’. she didn’t think it was affecting you this badly. she never meant any of the things she said to other women in your presence, she was only trying to make you jealous. maybe have wild sex afterwards like you guys always do.

though she succeeded at making you jealous, she didn’t get the outcome she desired. no, instead wanda lost her bestest friend all because she went and decided to flirt with sharon carter. but it wasn’t just sharon, it was also the waitress at the restaurant last week, and the nurse who was doing an ultrasound on you for a cyst. she cringes as she remembers how you asked her to wait outside. she was starting to realize how much of a shit girlfriend she’s been to you. “hey wands, where did y/n go?” yelena asks on her way back from the bathroom. “she left…”

wanda spends the next few weeks waiting for you to come back. she foolishly tells herself you’ll miss her enough to return. yet, it becomes abundantly clear that that’s not the case. you end up avoiding her, and whenever wanda accidentally sees you around the compound you’re laughing at something one of your coworkers is saying, or hanging out with the members of your team. you look okay and maybe that’s what sets wanda off most of all; you’re okay without her while she’s miserable without you. she lays awake at night tossing and turning, when she’s half asleep she reaches for you but you aren’t there. she can’t get that look on your face out of her head. the look of pure betrayal and hurt.

wanda tries calling, but you don’t answer. when she visits your room at night FRIDAY doesn’t allow her access. you’ve complete shut her out, and it’s all her fault. wanda thinks about three years ago when you first arrived at the compound. you had apparently been training for shield since you got out of high school. as soon as you met wanda she immediately took a liking to you. you were genuinely kind to her, and no matter how out of control her powers were, you weren’t afraid of her. you listened as she opened up to you about the death of her twin brother and her parents. you never once judged her when she told you about the things hydra and ultron made her do.

wanda’s nightmares return shortly after your breakup. turns out having you around was more help to her than she realized. or maybe she did realize it and she took it for granted. she doesn’t know how long she can continue this way without you; barely sleeping, barely eating. she can’t even seem to focus on missions and steve has given her three warnings in the last month to get it together before she’s on temporary desk duty. maybe that’s how she ended up at tony’s halloween party; drinking the night away to forget you.

when she sees you she nearly drops the drink in her hands. you’re not even dressed up; just a simple black cropped top that fits you perfectly, dark denim blue jeans that are so tight wanda can see every curve. the outfit is matched with your favorite converse, and your hair is in loose unruly curls. wanda wants to talk to you so badly, but she doesn’t have the courage to. your eyes migrate around the room, and end up on her. you offer her a sad smile and she doesn’t react. you notice the bags under her eyes that the makeup isn’t doing a good job at hiding. she doesn’t look at all like herself. you’re about to walk over to your ex girlfriend when a voice stops you.

“y/n!” thor bellows as he makes his way over to you with a woman beside him. she’s not as tall as wanda but she’s taller than you. her eyes seem to light up as soon as she sees you, “this is my dear friend y/n! y/n, this is king valkyrie.” he introduces you both and you smile shyly as you put your hand out for her to shake. the king takes your right hand and kisses your knuckles gently. you blush profusely at the action, “king valkyrie has assisted me on many missions and frequently, as you mortals say, saved my behind.” thor continues to stroke his friends ego and she rolls her eyes modestly. “please. a literal god is trying to talk me up right now, can you get this guy out of here?” valkyrie asks you jokingly, making you giggle. the mere sound makes her stare at you in awe for a second.

“it’s truly a pleasure to meet you, y/n. i’ve heard so much about you and your amazing pancakes from thor and bruce.” she admits and you blush sheepishly, your face feeling hot. “it’s a pleasure to meet you as well, it’s great to finally put a face to the name.” you tell her, having only heard about her a few times through thor and bruce, you were surprised at how charming she actually was. you don’t normally receive any attention like this from any of the superheroes, sure a few agents have asked you out in hopes of a hookup or two, but none of the heroes that were as important as this have. well, except for wanda, but you were almost positive wanda never wanted a real relationship with you to begin with.

the disheartening thought is enough to get you to put on a fake smile, and offer to get valkyrie and thor drinks. thor politely admits he has to find jane, but he ends up leaving you and the king alone. “so, thor tells me you’ve been an agent for shield for four years?” valkyrie asks and you chuckle, “yeah, i started training right out of high school… i really didn’t know know what else to do with my life.” you confess sheepishly, “but my life is boring. i want to hear all about your life. you’re a king, you must never be bored or lonely!” you exclaim and her smile falters a bit. “well, i certainly have the means and privilege of never being bored but not even money can cure loneliness.” she admits and you frown.

“do you get lonely king valkyrie?” you ask softly, your hand coming up to her bicep and your mere touch warms her in a way she hasn’t felt in so long. “yes. but it’s a small price to pay for ruling a kingdom.” she responds, and your eyes meet her chocolate brown ones. “and your queen?” you ask in a way that causes her to smirk, “no queen, just me i’m afraid.” she answers honestly, and you raise your eyebrows. “i guess that means i’m allowed to buy you a drink without worrying about your wife challenging me to a death match?” you half joke, and she laughs. “there’s no wife you have to worry about. but i’d love a drink.” she says lightly as you grab her hand and lead her through the crowded room. you don’t notice the piercing green eyes staring at you both the entire time.

as the night goes on you get to know valkyrie and you can’t find a single thing wrong with her. she’s charming, sweet, kind, humble, and even easy on the eyes… yet you can’t shake that guilty feeling you feel. you don’t want to be here with anyone other than wanda. yet, you’re sure she’s probably flirting with some other pretty girl around here. she’s probably forgotten all about you. you force yourself to laugh at a joke valkyrie says that you shamefully weren’t paying attention to. what you don’t notice is the emerald green eyes shooting daggers at the woman you’re standing in front of. wanda’s been watching you two since thor introduced the both of you. she hates the way her stomach burns and her fists clenches around her glass so tightly she surprised it doesn’t break.

her jaw is tense as valkyrie moves a strand of loose hair behind your ear. the way you blush makes her heart crumble into a million little pieces, and she recalls the way you used to blush at all of the things she said. the way the blood used to rise to your cheeks and coat your little nose. she hates this feeling and she wonders if this is how you felt all those times when she flirted so blatantly in front of you. she mentally curses herself for making you feel this way on so many occasions. the jealousy she feels is nothing compared to the guilt. she downs the rest of her whiskey and leaves the glass of ice on the bar counter. she can’t stand to watch this anymore, she doesn’t think the remains of her heart can take it.

you notice the way the redhead leaves quickly, moving past a hoard of people. you frown; wanda never leaves these things early. there’s nothing she loves more than a party. though, you remember how down she looked earlier. as much as you want to wield yourself not to care, you can’t help it. you love her and you care about her so much. “um, excuse me valkyrie i have to make sure my friend is okay. she looked sad earlier and she just left.” you lie through your teeth and valkyrie flashes you an understanding smile. “of course. i know all about your history with wanda maximoff, i understand how you feel.” she says and you feel a guilty feeling wash over you.

“i’m sorry.” you apologize honestly, and she reaches for your hand giving it an assuring squeeze. “don’t be sorry. go to her. i understand.” she tells you softly. you smile at her gratefully, “thank you. it really was lovely meeting you, i hope to see you again some time.” you tell her sincerely causing her to nod in agreement. “likewise. i’ll be looking for you the next time i’m on earth.” she promises and you blush softly before leaving. you go in the direction wanda left in, and you push through the large amount of people. you finally see her on the balcony facing away from the party.

“you left a little early don’t you think?” you ask, and she quickly wipes away a few falling tears before holding onto the ledge of the balcony tightly. “why do you care? you’ve made it perfectly clear over the last few weeks that nothing i do matters to you.” she retorts, there’s a bit of bite to her tone but there’s a whole lot of hurt laced through it as well. “nothing you do matters? i think you don’t understand how much the things you do matter to me.” you reply, as you reach into the pocket of your coat, pulling out a pack of menthols. “doesn’t seem that way. you’ve been avoiding me like the plague and now you’re all over king valkyrie not even a few weeks after our breakup?” she questions, and you can hear the undeniable betrayal laced through her tone.

“at least i waited till after our breakup.” you mutter under your breath, and she turns to face you. a trickle of silence passes, until she lets out a chuckle. “yeah, i deserved that.” she responds, and you flash her half a smile. she loves your smile. how she’s missed it. you take in the black velour suit she’s wearing. the white collared shirt pristine and nicely buttoned; not a wrinkle in sight. she looks amazing and you try your hardest not to let her know you’re staring at how beautiful she looks. “you look perfect. i see why valkyrie was all over you.” she admits and you laugh. “she was being nice.” you try to defend yourself and wanda flashes you a look. “oh please, she kissed your hand and was by your side all night.” she points out, and you raise a brow.

“you mean the way you should’ve been?“ you ask her, and this causes her to go silent. “y/n… i’m so sorry. i was a terrible girlfriend, and i… i took you for granted. i know some of the things i did are unforgivable, and when i saw you with valkyrie tonight, i realized how badly i hurt you all those times. i’m sorry.” wanda actually sounds sincere, and you can see in her eyes she means every word. she then shakes her head, “i don’t expect you to forgive me. if i were you i don’t know if i could… i just needed to apologize. you deserved a sincere apology. you didn’t deserve anything i put you through… i do love you, y/n.” wanda adds and your eyes go wide. “you do?” you ask in complete surprise and she nods vigorously.

“so much. you’re the only person i’ve ever opened up to… you’re my best friend. i really should’ve been a better girlfriend to you.” she admits shamefully, barely being able to meet your eyes with her own. you can see the tears pooling in those emerald green orbs you’re so helplessly in love with. “then why did you flirt with all those women? what you did really hurt me, and i told you it did, and you just kept doing it. you promised me once that you’d never intentionally hurt me… so why did you?” you ask her, and she shuts her eyes for a few seconds. “i thought it would keep you from losing interest in me. i figured if you saw how many people wanted me, you always would.” she chuckles bitterly at her own mindset. “i guess i lost you either way…” she trails off, and you sigh.

“wanda… i could never not want you. trust me, i know first hand how many people want you. you don’t think i see the way everyone looks at you when you walk into a room? but i don’t care about how many people look at you as long as you’re only looking at me…” your voice is insecure and now you can’t seem to keep eye contact as you glance down at your shoes. you toss your forgotten cigarette into the ashtray and she lets a few tears fall. “you’re all i see when i walk into a room.” she admits, “i should’ve made that more clear.” she adds and you flash her a look. “yeah, you should’ve.” you murmur, and she looks down at her shoes.

“is there any way you’d give me another chance? i’d do anything to earn your trust back. anything to make you love me again.” she practically begs you, and you can hear the strain in her voice. “i never stopped loving you, wands. i just… i thought you didn’t love me anymore.” you whisper the last part, and she reaches for your hands, her touch immediately makes your body feel warm despite the cool new york air. “i could never not love you.” she reveals with a trembling voice. you observe her features, searching for any sign of dishonesty; when you find none your eyes soften in that way that makes her heart flutter. “from now on, flirting with someone else is cheating. okay? there’ll be no more chances after this one for that, maximoff.” you warn her, and she nods eagerly. “i promise to only flirt with you until i die!“ she dramatically swears, earning a soft giggle.

god how she missed being the cause of that sound. “that’s a little dramatic.” you say, but before you can say anything else she leans in and kisses you passionately. you melt into the stolen kiss immediately, moaning in surprise and delight as you kiss the redhead back. wanda let’s go of your hands and moves hers to your waist. she pulls you into her, and as soon as your body touches hers, her member begins to wake up. there’s no doubt you don’t feel it hardening against you. “i missed,” kiss, “you,” kiss, “so,” kiss, “much.” wanda says in between kisses, as if she’s in a frenzy. you pull away and she chases your lips with her own as she keeps you held against her. she whines when you don’t let her kiss you again, “looks like you weren’t the only one that missed me.”

your teasing only causes her to get harder, and you smile deviously at the appendage poking you through hers and your clothes. “should we get out of here?” she asks hopefully, and you giggle nodding in agreement. “lead the way, wands.” you unravel yourself from her, as she interlocks her hands with yours and leads you out. she takes you to the nearest exit and your stomach flutters at the thought of making up after a whole month.

//

a/n: should i upload a pt.2 of the smut ?🤫👀

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! Thank you for all your hard work (all of the mods!)

I am considering giving a human version (like in an alternate universe) of a non-human character a cleft lip. as the regular version of him has a similar condition, at least visually, though he is not made of… uh, flesh and blood? And I’m not sure if he was born with the condition or acquired it later. Would it be wrong to give the human version of him a cleft lip in this case? (It’s not framed as tragic or anything, he’s just vibing and going about his business.) If it is something that would be appropriate, I was wondering whether it was realistic for an adult in modern day to have a cleft lip (probably not palate, just lip), when, from what I understand, that is usually corrected* as an infant? If it is not realistic, are there alternative facial differences that may affect one side of the upper lip/mouth? I am trying to avoid another “character experienced The Accident and is now disabled/has a facial difference,” so I was hoping for something congenital, but given this character’s line of work (machinery, chemicals, sharp things, fire) it would not be unreasonable for him to have been injured either.

*I am unsure if “corrected” is the proper term here, please forgive me if it is not

Thank you for your time and for helping me to readjust my thinking in so many matters already. I want to keep learning to do better

Hi!

If the character isn't originally A), an actual monster (obviously bad) or B), a rabbit/hare kind of creature*, I don't see any issue with their human form having a cleft lip! I guess there could be some kind of non-fleshy creature that could be unfortunate as well, but I can't think of any to be honest?

*that's because of the outdated term “hare lip” that was used in the past, which is currently considered offensive. Only applies if you specifically give them a cleft lip, other facial differences are fine.

In places like the US or Western Europe most children will have a surgery on their cleft lip, but that's not necessarily the case for areas where a surgical center (or any kind of medical facility) might be inaccessible or just plain non-existent. There's a ton of adults and children who haven't had anything done about their clefts right now; this claims that “vast majority of [children with cleft lip and/or palate] will never receive [reconstructive surgery]”. So yes, it's certainly realistic for a character to not have had surgery depending on their background. [note: I don't really like how the article talks about facial differences, but medical sources will medical source.]

Other facial differences that could affect the upper mouth could be;

a birthmark (a red port wine stain, or a black and hairy nevus, or one of the other billion combinations),

an overgrowth (like in neurofibromatosis t1 or any other overgrowth syndrome, or even things like lipoma or a cyst),

a scar (could be traumatic, from a surgery, from an illness, many options), it could also have be of different kinds - keloid, hypertrophic, etc!,

facial paralysis (could be that their upper lip doesn't move at all on one side - could be a stroke, congenital, traumatic, brain damage, progressive, infection...)

a burn scar, though it would be very specific to only have it in the upper lip and nowhere else - but I think that something like a boiling or chemical droplet falling on their face would make sense,

a whole bunch of things that I’m forgetting!

With choosing which facial difference you want to give that character, I'd keep in mind that they have symptoms other than just the visuals, and it would be good to consider whether or not you want it to reflect the original version of the character. Many people with cleft lip, especially if it's uncorrected, may have a speech disability or trouble with eating (and, subsequently, might have malnutrition problems). So if the character has very clear speech, it would be good to maybe mention that they were in speech therapy, things like that. If you don't want to get into symptoms and treatments (past or present), going for a birthmark would probably be the easiest.

I hope this helps! Thank you for your willingness to learn :-)

mod Sasza

[pissvortex]

are you guys prepared for the lykoi skin problems on jimmy in a few years? apparently they start to kick in around age 3-5 years old and can get really nasty. I was considering buying a lykoi when I joined some of the lykoi groups and started seeing the adult cats covered in cysts and boils and now I'm extremely worried about every young lykoi I see. idk why this issue has been so overlooked in the breed, I guess because it's still so early in the breed history

ive answered this before but this really hasnt been observed or noted outside of that one tumblr post that took screenshots of a couple of lykoi cats on facebook with acne problems. theres nothing to really suggest lykoi cats are any more susceptible to skin problems than sphinx cats, an established breed. even then, i feel like half the problem is just that the acne is more visible on cats with less hair than cats with hair. we bathe and degrease the boy regularly, and the breeder was a veterinarian who has had multiple generations of healthy lykoi cats. he also has a lot of hair for a lykoi. bottom line though he's already in this world and it's not like im gonna blow his head off because i saw a tumblr post saying they might get skin problems well after he was adopted

[chaotic-bells]

salutations muskrat placenta. how pleased you must be with larry in same room. they shall soon make announcement start larryopocalypse. time is of the essence for you orca dongles. this fandom has less than 24 hours until simon's issued cyst and deceased. provolone

Oh, so yesterday wasn’t larryopocalypse? You’ve been threatening it for so long I thought it was.

you know, a little tip: you shouldn’t give a precise date every time, it’s really not effective when you’re wrong again and again. You should sign as “the anon who cried wolf”, not a cheese.

oh, and please, I want nothing to do with Simon’s cyst. And deceased? I guess he should see a doctor before that happens?

[buggyhour]

Guess who got an ultrasound and has ovarian cysts 💔💔💔

[tanyabadtime159]

OKIE EVERYONE GET READY THIS WILL BE A BIG WALL OF LORE TEXT

RAIN WORLD PESTILENCE STORY BEFORE MAIN EVENS OF THE AU

let's get started!

Okie so

Pestilence timeline starts before golden pearl was delivered to Five Pebbles by Spearmaster but bug maze pearl already happened. Artificer rampage starts much earlier and Moon also creates Rivulet.

After sometime Golden pearl happens and Pebbles blocks everyone like in canon also blocks the entrance gate so Arti won't disturb him.

Meanwhile Moon sends a warning to local group.Sig starts creating Hunter out of worry for Moon. But he rushed the process with leads to Hunter getting the Rot. But he was quick enough to stabilize it and stop the growing. So Hunter can coexist with her Rot. Suns sends Spears again to try to talk with Pebbles.

In the meantime Pebbles starts second guessing himself which leads to him losing focus and ends up losing control over his experiment. Bam! Rot created! Pebbles flashed the Rot but some still stays inside.

Rot that was flashed ends up in garbage wastes. But there was not much food and prey down there. So one particular Rot cyst starts consuming its own kind. With leads to its mutation. This Rot cyst becomes sentient. This mutated rot cyst figures out that it has control over other Rot cyst and stuff. So it becomes some sort of Alfa Rot. So sentient Rot with its cyst Rot army starts take over Garbage wastes. And it founds out about its much serious new ability once it's encountered the scavenger population. It can infect and control other creatures. With leads to much quicker spread of the Rot and turns garbage wastes into rotten wastes.

Soon enough with some help from infected scavs the Rot finds new area to infect. Shaded Citadel. It also tried other close region - waterfront facility but quickly finds out about its new weakness. Water. So Shaded Citadel is next target. This new Rot spreads so fast that it got to Pebbles legs in a few cycles. Pebbles in meantime tried to deal with Rot that manage to stay inside.

But Alfa Rot soon got to underhang and infected some lizards on its way. And soon enough got inside the structure.With help of overseers Pebbles notice that new very dangerous type of Rot. So he calls out Artificer and thinks about an emergency escape plan.

Meantime Spearmaster arrives in facility grounds. They don't find anything different until they reach the bridge to the wall. They saw a king vulture. But not normal king vulture. This one was covered in blue Rot cysts. So they decided to hide from this horrifying abomination. Now they know. Something is not right.

Soon enough they reach Five Pebble's chamber.

Pebbles structure was now full of rot and it already on its rivulet state. Pebbles notice the messenger. Spears delivers their pearl but it was not the perfect time for that. Pebbles tells Spears about escape plan and asks for help. The plan is Pebbles quickly finished his very old experiment with modified overseer that he can use as the vessel for his consciousness. The slugcats will take the rarefaction cell(that was already removed by Arti) and important pearls and will escape to his sister's structure.

Once they leave the Alfa cyst reaches the puppet chamber. And takes over now empty puppet and whole superstructure. This cyst learns about so much by using Pebbles memories and finally picks itself a name

Erratic Pulse

Also it founds out about ancient desire for ascension and max karma symbol. With looks very similar to itself and the reason behind its creation. So Pulse starts to believe that it and it's kind is the triple affirmative that iterator kind tried to find for so long. So why not to help them by spreading itself further? Also it founds out about it's neighbor. It's sister that is really kind and was treated poorly by Pebbles, who Erratic Pulse now hates. so why not to try talk with her?

Moon in meantime with Ruffles tries to understand what happened. Pebbles finally heard her pleases? And scans her structure to know about the damage

And she gets a message from her brother? But something is not right. He doesn't talk like this. She asks for a call but he refuses to pick up. So she uses her seniority privileges to force the call. She was not ready to find out that her brother was replaced by a rotting stranger. Erratic Pulse tells her about itself and asks her to join and accept the "triple affirmative". Moon ends the call and blocks the stranger.

Meanwhile Pebbles, Arti and Spears already reached Moon's wall. Iggy(Moon's overseer) noticed them and leads them to Moon's chamber. Moon was shocked to see her brother in overseer body but she was happy to know that he is alive. Moon lets Pebbles connect to her structure and now he can use hologram of himself and tell Moon everything.

In the meantime other slugcats start to arrive to the facility grounds. Hunter with a pearl from Sig, Gourmand with Survivor, Monk and Watcher(night cat) on the adventure to find more or new food for the colony and Saint, a nomadic scug that ascends only ones who seeks ascension. They all menage to reach Moon structure and not get infected by Rot infected creatures or by Rot itself.

Erratic Pulse send out the triple affirmative with the files of its genome to spread on over iterators.

And there is one slugcat that accidentally entered it's chamber and fell in love with it. Enot. The lust thirsty scugcat gets turned into infected but menage to save his desire for love. Which annoys Pulse

In Moon's structure. Moon, Pebbles and slugcats are thinking about plans for elimination of Erratic Pulse and the Rot.

So that's how main events of the au started

thank you for reading this! ❤

[jessilynallendilla]

The Most Popular Girls in School Quotes Without Context Season 1

“I want to poop here. Whenever I want, for as long as I want.” 

“I’ll be watching you.” “I’m going to poop now.” 

“Have fun smelling my poops, bitches!” 

“Was it slutty of me to give you a hand job last night?"

“Hey, if I watch an episode of Glee and an episode of Gossip Girl, can I get a blow job instead?” 

“God, I want to fucking murder you.” 

“What the fuck is a growler?”  

“Well then, I’ll gladly tell all the student bodies of Wichita State, Kansas and San Diego State, that you eat dick burritos.” 

“Suck my dick!” “Ok.” “What!?-” “Drop trou, I’ll suck your dick right now!” “Dude, that was an expression! Right? Am I right? That’s an expression, right guys?” 

“I’ll suck all your dicks right now!” 

“I’m a real man! I’m not afraid!” 

“Yeah, he’s definitely gay.” “He’s gay.” “We had an assembly about it.” 

“One last question...how come Matthew Daringer doesn’t have a penis or testicles?” 

“Jesus Christ, is that a fucking Gremlin?” “No, I’m a third grader.” 

“Rea-really? We talked, you pooped, I thought we had a connection.” 

“Wait, wait a minute, you lost control of the girl’s bathrooms?! Where the fuck am I supposed to shit now?” “Oh, you can go to the Jack in the Box across the street.” 

“We’ll I’m twenty-seven and still living with my parents in Overland Park. I have an art history degree from night school. My cat just died. I’ve lost 25% control of my sphincter muscles. I get a clicking sound in my jaw when I eat. I drive a ‘91 Dodge Neon. I have ovarian cysts. Sometimes I pee the bed still. I have alopecia. The only man who wants to fuck me is my 48-year-old manager at Pizza Street. PS, he only has one ball. So, I guess, better than you.”  

“No! Girls! On HBO! Kind of like Gossip Girl, but more tits.” 

“She said this is easier, you know, she said she just gets really emotional when she’s pregnant. And drunk.” 

“My mom said it’s about time people start feeling sorry for me.” 

“I won your card fair and square, so hand it ower before I bitch swap the bwack out of you.” 

*hit with a Hackey-Sack* “Aaah! Son of a bitch! Bastard! Aaah! God! Why me? Why me? Why? Does God hate me? Oh Jesus Christ!” 

“Oh my God I feel like I’m having an abortion!” 

“Mikayla, I’m six feet tall and weigh 105 pounds. I think I know how to mix x-lax into a fucking drink, ok?” 

“Mommy, what did you used to drink when you were a cheerleader?” “Squeez-its and Zima, why?” 

“Fuck it right it in the ass.” “No lube!” “Fisting!” “With a big black dildo!” The biggest!” 

“And don’t get me started on Pakistan. Ahmedinijad, am I right?” 

*principle making announcements* “And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, I know I’m excited, my nipples are hard.” 

“’Oh yes! Oh, fuck yes! Who else is wet in here?” 

“I’m sorry, was I not just in the middle of a story?” “Yeah, but I wasn’t really that interested in it.”  

“Do you like making me look like a dickhole? Do you?” “You want me to say no, right?” 

“She may be a dirty fucking slut but at least she’s ours.” 

“Deandra, you’re a member of this family, you poop with us!” “Uh no. Deandra, you’re a cheerleader. You shit with us!”  

*waving amputated arms* “These are a little girl’s arms!” 

“How could you do this to us? You literally bombed us. Like the Japanese you are.” 

“Oh my, somebody’s going to be walking very funny tomorrow morning.” 

“The babies you make tonight are going to be so stupid.” 

“I swear, if I was into ladies, I’d be elbow deep in you right now.” “Hello.” 

“I’m being paid fifty dollars to stand here. Not talk to Rick Taylor’s bottom. Go away now.” 

“You look like a tampon that was dipped in skittles and vomit.” “Thank you.” 

“I get to run a hundred meters in the Special Olympics, I lost like twenty-seven pounds-” “Oh my god! What is your secret?” “...I had my arms ripped off.” 

“Well, I gave every boy in the school a blowjay!” 

"Um, Tanner, aren’t you gay?” "That’s a woman!?” 

[she-karev]

The Name (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister Baby Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

AN: Hey guys here’s another chapter that takes place immediately after the Birth chapters let me know what you think and I will take One Shot Requests if you have any concerning Andrew DeLuca and Amber Karev or Jolex.

Summary: Amber and Andrew try to decide what to name their baby with Alex and Jo weighing their suggestions. Later Amber talks to Carina.

Words: 2573

October 20th, 2022

Jo Karev walks down the hall pushing Luna Karev in her stroller eager to meet her niece. She would’ve come by sooner, but she was busy assisting Dr. Bailey with a large ovarian cyst on a teenage girl who fainted during sex ed. Now it’s almost midnight and all she wants to do is to enjoy peaceful family time she never had growing up. She sanitizes her hands before entering Amber’s room to find her sitting up in bed opening a box of cookies with DeLuca sitting next to her watching Alex who is sitting in a chair holding the baby sticking his tongue out at her like the fun uncle he already is.

Jo smiles at the sight and speaks in a low voice to not alarm the baby, “Hi someone wants to meet her cousin.” She walks closer until she’s next to Alex who grins at her and introduces the cousins.

“Hey little moon this is your cousin TBD DeLuca.” Jo narrows her eyes at him posing an unspoken question, “Yeah, your auntie Amber and uncle Andrew are still deciding on a name so for now she’s TBD. Look TBD this is your cousin Luna.” Luna looks at the baby inquisitively with a blank face.

Jo gets closer to the baby and sees that instead of a pastel hat they normally give for the babies, she’s now wearing a black one causing her to chuckle, “I see she’s inherited her mom’s sense of style.”

Amber grins, “Yeah what can I say she’s a badass already.”

Jo is still gazing at awe of the baby, “Oh my god she is so beautiful you guys. Dark hair or blonde?”

“Dark I guess his genes beat me on that.”

“But she’s got her mom’s blue eyes. So basically, she’s got all of our best physical features in one package.” Andrew points out causing Alex to chuckle.

“Oh, dude you are so screwed.”

Andrew chuckles in agreement, “I’m already looking into getting a gun locker and automatics to fill it so I can scare the boys away when they come over to pick her up.” Amber chuckles at that, “Yeah laugh now but trust me I know now that your brothers were overprotective for a reason. And they’re probably the reason you didn’t have a teen pregnancy or STD.”

“Or I have sound judgement that came from watching my hormone addled brothers bring in a girl week after week forcing me into the role of a sane person who didn’t think with her genitals.”

“It sounds like when I was growing up with my sister.” Andrew quips, “Except they didn’t date your school friends or exes.”

“And let’s be thankful for that and hope she has better judgement than her aunt and uncle when she reaches teen hood.”

Jo carefully takes the baby from Alex and holds her with a grin, “Hopefully by then you guys will pick a name for her.”

Amber groans at that and explains, “We wanted to wait to meet her but now that we met her, we’re stumped. I mean I test simple names like Emma or Amy but she doesn’t feel like an Emma or Amy. There should be an app for this kind of thing.”

Alex kneels down to Luna in the stroller handing her a toy, “Well hey I might have a suggestion if you’re interested.”

“Please so we don’t look like bad parents and leave the hospital with nothing on the certificate.”

“Well, you know Alex is a pretty good name.” Amber raises an eyebrow at that, “It’s gender neutral in case she doesn’t identify as female, it’s cool and it’s after her favorite uncle.”

Andrew grins shaking his head amused, “You really dug deep for that one, didn’t you?”

“It is just a suggestion.”

Amber looks at the baby for a moment before shaking her head, “No she’s not an Alex, what about you Jo?”

Jo coos at the baby before looking at the couple, “Why don’t you do it the Gilmore Girl’s way? Name her Amber after yourself, guys do it all the time.”

Amber shakes her head immediately, “People kept saying to me Amber is a designated stripper name and I’m not gonna subject my kid to the same torture. So, if you all are thinking Angel, Brittany or Bambi toss it out. What about you Luna? Do you have any ideas?” Luna teethes on the toy absentminded not paying attention causing them to chuckle, “I didn’t think so.”

“Well, how about a character from one of our favorite movies?” Andrew suggests, “I liked Terminator growing up, how about Sarah DeLuca?”

Jo looks at the baby and tries it out, “Sarah DeLuca…no.”

Andrew looks at Amber who’s busy eating her graham crackers, “You love Legally Blonde how does Elle sound?”

“No.”

“Reese?”

“Ugh! No!” Andrew looks at her confused by her disgust and she clarifies, “Reese’s cups.”

“Reese’s pieces.” Jo adds.

“Reese’s puffs that girl will be picked on in the schoolyard.” Alex states.

“It’s just an idea that’s all.” Andrew looks at the baby in Jo’s arms, “We really should name her before we leave though.”

Jo chuckles and speaks to her niece in a baby voice, “Don’t worry TBD if your parents are still clueless by the end of the day Aunt Jo will sneak in and put her own name on the certificate.” Jo grins and puts the baby in Andrew’s arm causing him to grin at his daughter. Amber looks at the baby inquisitively before shaking her head.

“No she’s not a Jo.” Amber adjusts the black hat on her small downy head.

Andrew grins and nods, “No you’re not a Jo.” He cradles the baby who gets fussy and starts to cry.

“Oh no I think she’s hungry, come here baby.” Andrew hands the baby to Amber that immediately stops her crying as Amber holds her against her chest. Amber pulls her gown down one shoulder so she can nurse the baby shocking Alex.

Alex quickly stands up and looks away, “Whoa! Okay I um I should go come on Luna bear let’s leave your aunt to her um business.”

Amber chuckles at her brother’s reaction as the baby’s head covers her pregnancy swollen breast from his and Jo’s sight, “What are you 13? You’re a doctor and this is the natural order of things don’t shame me for giving my baby her nutrients.”

Alex coughs and looks down so he can avoid looking at her feeding the baby directly, “I don’t shame mothers for breastfeeding I just don’t feel like looking at my sister with her chest out even if there’s a baby attached to it.”

“He’s got a point babe.” Andrew says to Amber too distracted feeding the baby.

Amber rolls her eyes at the men, “Oh come on dude you used to give me baths.”

He still looks down, “Yeah when you were two.” He turns to Jo who’s stifling her laughter at the conversation, “Jo, are you good to stay so I can take Luna home?”

Jo grins at him trying to avoid eye contact with Amber, “Yes, I’ll carpool with Link and he can drop me off later. You two go and get some sleep I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Great thanks. Congratulations again tell the hopefully will be named soon baby uncle Alex sends his love.” He takes the stroller and exits the room with Luna in toll. Jo and Amber look at each other in amusement as TBD enjoys her breakfast straight from the breast with Andrew eating a graham cracker out of the box.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up after I fell asleep to find the sun rising from the window. Andrew left to put the finishing touches on the nursery and I take advantage of a good night’s sleep predicting it’ll be the last one I get for a while now. I hear a baby gurgle and a female with an Italian accent singing low. I sit up and find Carina DeLuca sitting in a chair holding my daughter marveling at her new niece and singing something in Italian. She looks up and smiles at me.

“Buongiorno.” I grin at her as I rub my eyes, “I wanted to see my new niece before I left, where’s Andrea?”

“He’s putting the final touches in the nursery. We got a diaper table a week ago when we thought we had a few weeks before we had something to put on top of it. Now he’s assembling it and I am praying it doesn’t fall apart and we’re forced to change her in either the kitchen or bathroom counter.” Carina sings to the baby again, “That sounds nice.”

“I used to sing it to Andrea when he was little. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier I was busy at the station helping with inventory for the clinic and then…”

I see her smile dying down a bit as she looks at my daughter with longing eyes, “And what? Is everything okay?”

“No, I’m fine it’s just that I took a pregnancy test today.”

My eyes widen at that revelation and I tread carefully, “And it was…?”

“Negative.”

I tsk at that, “I’m sorry I know how much you and Maya want a baby but don’t worry there’s always next time. And until then you guys can be the cool, badass aunts who will watch her when Andrew and I need some alone time.”

Carina sighs in despair rocking the baby gently, “At the rate my marriage is going I’m not sure bringing an innocent baby into it is what I want anymore.” I look at her confused and she elaborates further, “Maya has mental health issues.”

“Ah.” I nod knowing full well what she is going through right now.

“And I have lived most of my life living with people with mental health issues and I am good at it. But being in a relationship with someone with mental health issues is something else it’s…no I am not bringing my marital problems on what should be a happy day.” Carina sniffles and looks down at the baby smiling, “I’ve had a bad day but now it’s a good day because even though I don’t have a baby and my wife isn’t here I have a niece I am going to love and spoil for the rest of her life. Isn’t that right bambina?” Carina coos at the sleeping baby.

I sit up further and look her in the eyes so I can help her with her dilemma, “You know it’s okay to be sad about your wife and happy about your niece at the same time. It’s wishful thinking for us to feel one thing our entire lives.”

“Please don’t let me bother you with my problems. It’s not something you should concern yourself with along with new motherhood.”

“I grew up with a schizophrenic mom, a brother who inherited the illness and a husband who lashed out at me when he inherited his father’s illness. I am literally the only person in this world who has insight into your specific problem.” Carina purses her lips at our similarities, “Look you and Maya whatever you’re going through you’ll get through it. I know how frustrating it is to deal with your partner’s problems while they ignore it and take it out on you. The mood swings, the verbal abuse, the questioning where your relationship stands, I have been through it with your brother. It was hell and there was a point where I hated him for doing to me what my mom and brother did to me. I’ve been where you are and the road ahead is not easy, it’s messy and ugly and you’ll feel like your going crazy along with Maya.”

Carina tears up at that and wipes a stray tear while holding my baby, “Is this you trying to make me feel better? Because it’s not working.”

“A messy road like that forced me and Andrew to fight for our relationship and it took a while and I had to tackle a lot of my issues my family put on me. But we came out on the other side stronger than ever. We wouldn’t have done that if the love we shared wasn’t worth it and if we didn’t do that then that little girl wouldn’t be here right now.” Carina grins with tears glistening in her eyes as she looks down at the beautiful baby girl, “Don’t give up, if the love you and Maya have is stronger than your problems then you two can survive this.”

Carina grins grateful to me, “When did you become an optimist?”

“It’s probably the hormones left over.” Carina laughs at that rocking the baby gently.

“Ah bambina you’re not even a day old and your already so popular.” I grin at the baby thinking how much luckier she was than me and thankful I’m giving a good and loving life to her, “I just wish mine and your papa’s mama was here to see you. Your nonna Lucia would have loved you so much and you’d be the most spoiled granddaughter in the world. I’m just grateful to have you in my life now and I’ll be your favorite zia and I’m not gonna tell your aunt Jo.” I chuckle at that and we sit there looking at the baby marveling at the new life. And it was at that moment I knew what to name her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andrew enters Amber’s patient room in his casual gray thermal shirt and jeans since it’s his day off. He finds Amber finishing breastfeeding the baby putting her hospital gown back over her shoulder and the baby looks satiated.

“Hey how are my girls doing?” He grins at them as he sits down next to Amber.

“We’re good she’s already nursing like a pro. Do you want to go to daddy? Let’s go to daddy.” Amber smiles as she carefully hands the baby to Andrew who smiles as he holds her causing the baby to make baby noises and looking up at Andrew with her blue-green eyes that she got from Amber which makes Andrew’s heart swell even more.

“Hi TBD.” Andrew happily greets her, “Oh god we gotta pick out a name otherwise she’s gonna hate us like we hated our parents.”

Amber grins, “I have a name actually, I wanted to run it by you and see what you think.”

“Okay lay it on me let’s see if it’s the one.”

“…Lucia.”

Andrew freezes as soon as he heard it and looks at Amber surprised, “That’s my mother’s name.”

Amber grins at him and explains, “When Carina came by, she kept saying how she wished your mother was here to see her and that’s when I knew what her name was.”

Andrew chuckles softly as a bittersweet ache squeezes his chest. He looks down at the sleeping baby and kisses the top of her small head, “It sounds perfect, Lucia DeLuca.”

Amber nods, “Yeah but maybe we should call her Lucy, doesn’t she look like a Lucy?”

Andrew grins, “She does she very much does.” He continues rocking the baby and turns to Amber with love in his eyes, “I love you; I love both of you thank you for giving me this.”

Amber smiles lovingly, “We love you too.” They then kiss and enjoy this blissful moment with their daughter, Lucy DeLuca.

[ladymunson]

I just can’t catch a fucking break!

Guess who has another cyst?!

Hopefully me doctor will have my test results tomorrow so I can find out why.

I don’t know how much more of this I can take, being here is just too painful now.

[abbacchiosbelt]

guess who has a 10cm cyst on their ovary and has to get it surgically removed 🥰 i also have a 3-4cm one on my other ovary + potentially PCOS or endometriosis, per my doctor. not looking forward to surgery, but glad i'll be in less pain once it's done.

[yandere-daydreams]

What I've heard is the hymen which naturally thins over time anyways is protection for like. Baby afabs and toddler afabs since they get more....gross stuff up there.

More likely, however, is that the actual tissue is just a hold over from *growing* the vagina, labia, and canal. Not everything has an explicit purpose, sometimes things are hold overs. That's why men have nipples-it just so happens that the fetus will develop nipples before the "sex" is finalized and developed in the fetus. They have no purpose for men, but the body just...develops that way. Same thing with your Cupid's bow-it doesn't have a *purpose*. That's just where your face grew together so it gets a little funky.

Anyway. There isn't much research into the hymen because medical science continues to be mostly fascinated with amab people and their woes, and generally the white ones. The research we have on female specific or related conditions is woeful at best. We know barely anything about ovarian cysts and they affect like...every afab person at least once.

Cheers!

i've heard the thinning time and i think that makes sense purely off of, like,,,, a social perspective? i just know that a lot of the stories i've heard about hymen tearing come from people who lost their virginity as teenagers or had one of the Accursed Hobbies (gymnastics, horseback riding, etc.) when they were relatively young, as opposed to people who weren't that sporty and didn't start experimenting with penetrative sex until their 20s. my brain is very wattpad-poisoned though, so that might be a hot take based on too many fourteen-year-olds guessing what sex would be like based on things other fourteen-year-olds wrote.

the hold-over idea is also probably true to a certain degree, just because, if it /is/ supposed to keep stuff out of the vaginal canal, it's clearly not doing a very good job. kind of a cringe tissue patch if you ask me. doctors might know that if they could look at afab genitalia without assuming their patient is pregnant or hysterical or something.

[ohtobeleah]

how are you feeling? I hope better!

Yesterday was really rough. I was sent back up to the ER after we went over my ultrasound results. There was a specialist up at ED who my Woman’s Health specialist wanted me to see immediately about an abnormality.

But after nine hours in ED, I was told I need to take time off work because my inability to rest is probably exacerbating the pain. I understand that, but I tried to limit myself, haven’t been training, having been overwhelming myself but I guess it was still too much. They changed my pain medication to something less constipating in hopes it’ll relieve some of the swelling and inflammation, gave me hella strong laxatives, and have booked me in for a follow up ultrasound in four weeks for review.

The specialist also really wants me to consider contraception as a form of management if the cyst keeps growing and or stays the same size (it’s currently the size of an orange) Over the next few weeks because they are adamant that it will go away on its own. Bailey advocated pretty hard for me because I was loopy on pain relief at this point.

It’s just really taxing at this point. But I’m off work for essentially two weeks at this point because I had a few days booked off from the 22nd to the 24th for a Sydney trip with Bailey to see Blink. (At this stage I’m still going because I’ve pre paid that entire trip, unless I need emergency surgery I’m still fucking going)

And I’d just like to say thank-you to everyone who has checked in on me. You all care so much and I really appreciate your kindness and support because this is just a lot in me mentally.